As I dipped my hands into the flour and water mixture and spread the wet newspaper over the balloon it hit me. This owl pinata made me realize that my Baby Bear wasn’t going to be a baby for much longer. She will be one at the end of August.
I nursed her for her nap later that day admiring her chunky legs and soft skin. She is my second and my last child. This will be the end of the “baby” stage for us.
I look at her grin with just a few teeth and think about how far we have come on our nursing journey.
Little Bear is never far away when I am nursing Baby Bear because she is normally eagerly awaiting her turn.
Because of my nursing aversion, I would never have imagined that I would make it a whole year tandem nursing. Little Bear will be three this fall and I still see no end in sight for her.
She loves her “Milkies”.
Nursing Aversion Update
Although my nursing aversion is better than when I was pregnant, it still rears it’s ugly face a lot.
I have been paying extra attention to my diet in case my body is lacking something causing this aversion. I take my vitamins and vitamin B complex daily. I think it helps some.
Very rarely I can handle nursing them both at the same time, but when I can it feels pretty amazing to be connecting and nourishing both at the same time. I especially love when they hold each other’s hand while nursing.
I still nurse Little Bear frequently by herself, it is just for shorter periods of time. Some days I am able to nurse her until she is ready to unlatch. Holding her like a baby helps occasionally.
Looking Back On This Past Year.
As we near the one year mark for Baby Bear, she has started nursing in all the different acrobatic positions. Her favorite is the downward dog. Booty in the air. I am not sure what is so fantastic about breastfeeding this way, but it makes her happy.
I have had some time to reflect on this past year and all the hurdles we have faced on our nursing journey. It has been thirty-four months of breastfeeding and a year of tandem nursing.
Some days I feel like I would be very happy if I only had one nursling.
Then I see Little Bear not able to grapple with all these big feelings that come her way as the tears drip down her cheeks and she asks for milkies. Nursing her in that moment reminds me how important it is for us to keep going.
Where We Are Now
I can’t tell another woman what she should do when it comes to tandem nursing, only that it is a choice that those in this breastfeeding relationship should make. Mama and her babies.
I choose to continue because I know my Little Bear still needs this connection that only nursing can bring.
When I feel I absolutely cannot nurse her some evenings, she asks my husband for his “milk”. She latches onto his chest and rests in his arms. I asked her if she got milk from daddy one day while she was nursing and she shook her head no.
Nursing is her way of connecting and finding that comfort.
Nursing grounds her when she feels like everything is overwhelming. My husband gladly obliges and shares that connection with her. He sees how much it means to her.
When she was born and we were separated, he held her giving her skin to skin and she latched onto him first. I like to think that connection from birth has something to do with it. Baby bear wants only the real stuff.
Breastfeeding is such a huge part of our lives right now. We are a year into our tandem nursing journey and we continue to take it one day at a time.
I honestly couldn’t have made it this far without the support of my husband.
He helps me get my space when I am feeling touched out. He understands that my breasts are off limits for now (another side effect of my nursing aversion). He tells me how thankful he is that I breastfeed our daughter’s and so much more. Having a supportive partner can help make all the difference.
I have accomplished the goal I set when Baby Bear was born.
The goal to tandem nurse for at least a year.
As for us on our breastfeeding journey as it continues, we will take it day by day and I will follow Little Bear’s lead. It will be a bittersweet day when she decides she has had enough. My overall goal is to let her fully wean when she is ready with the boundaries I have set in place.
“A strong woman understands that the gifts such as logic, decisiveness, and strength are just as feminine as intuition and emotional connection. She values and uses all of her gifts.” – Nancy Rathburn
How has your tandem nursing journey gone? Has anything you have tried helped with nursing aversion?
Comment below and share how long you have been breastfeeding!